You guys ready guys yes sir replied stick. Ok if we see those things we abort mission ok yes replied stick. Gunner Doco stay here Doco and gunner barked like they understood him and Tai understood them too. Ok lets go. Bells ring when they step in side should we get some more supplies nope we have some at base I don't think the boy is in here wait I found him. The boy woke up and looked at us. He looked at X-ray then Stick and then finally looked at me I said my name is Tai that Stick and that is X-ray what's your name my name is Alan. Then X-ray shouted get down he tackled Alan down. Then they both looked up and saw the army. They were looking for survivors and me and stick looked at each other.
Keep going with this, Tai. I'm intrigued to know what happens at the end. Do you know yet? Some authors have no idea how their stories will finish until they get there. Don't forget to add speech marks when someone is saying something, it makes it easier for the reader to work out who is saying what and to whom.
ReplyDeleteKia ora Tai. I love the way you have ended this story with the reader wanting to know more. Great writing technique! Make sure you don't forget punctuation. Punctuation is used to give the reader cues on how to read the story and help them know when someone is talking (speech marks) and the mood etc. Keep up the great work, Tai
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